


My Brothers, My Sister, and Me

by Rainpath5466



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Brotherly Jay and Breeze Connection AU, Dark Forest Trainee Jay AU, Gen, Less Ableism AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23426497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainpath5466/pseuds/Rainpath5466
Summary: (An AU mashup featuring Jayfeather, Breezepelt, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze.)Jaypaw has inherited his mother's ability to connect with her sibling on a supernatural level, except the gift has chosen Breezepaw, the WindClan apprentice with a temper worse than Jaypaw's own.Although a good few cats believe in Jaypaw's ability to become a warrior, the rest of his clan has their doubts. StarClan cats won't stop telling him to become a medicine cat, and Jaypaw is losing his patience, but he won't give up. Partly out of spite and partly to find a way to prove himself, Jaypaw turns to the Dark Forest for teaching.
Relationships: Breezepelt & Hollyleaf & Jayfeather & Lionblaze (Warriors)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 112





	1. A New Connection

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy, this is a major AU of Power of Three, and possibly Omen of the Stars if I get that far. I'm basically smashing a bunch of different AUs together on a whim and seeing what sticks, with Crowfeather's kids mainly in mind.  
> I know the title makes it look like a crackfic but I'm just bad at names. Plus, we at the Warriors fandom love MBMBaM. Alternate titles: My Brothers, My Step-Brother, and Me | My Step-Brothers, My Step-Sister, and Me.  
> I'm gonna try to give everyone somewhat equal POV opportunity, but my favorite character is Hollyleaf and Jayfeather gets the most interesting AU elements, so sorry in advance.  
> Because I'm writing this without any plan, AUs will be added to the tags as chapters are posted.

Jaypaw blinked. A vision had manifested from the usual void of his blind eyes. No matter how much he blinked it wouldn't flicker at all. Well, no, the vision did blink, but not when Jaypaw's physical eyes blinked. It was entirely disorientating, but not just for that reason. He could also see himself from the distance, a few pawsteps away from walking off a small ledge of dirt and grass into the lake. Jaypaw swiveled his head back and forth, and the Jaypaw in his vision did the same. He was definitely seeing himself from some other perspective.

The vision moved, jarring Jaypaw again. It whipped around to face a cat next to the new perspective. The other cat was much larger and lean. If Jaypaw remembered colors correctly, he would be a dark gray. Behind him stood other cats, again guessing at colors, a white one and a tabby. The cats' lips moved with conversation, but for some reason Jaypaw couldn't hear it at all. Just the sounds of the lake's waves. The cats appeared to have noticed Jaypaw, and moved towards where Jaypaw was standing near the lake.

As expected, Jaypaw heard pawsteps approach. The vision also approached, and seemed to be jostling with a gait. Jaypaw's ears triangulated the pawsteps of four cats, which confused Jaypaw. He could only see three cats with the illusion taking over his blind eyes.

"You realize you're on WindClan territory, right?" A gruff voice asked. Some quick spatial reasoning with feedback from his ears and the vision later, he understood the voice was coming from the dark colored cat.

"Not really, I'm blind," Jaypaw lied with a bite to his meow. Of course he knew he was in WindClan, he wasn't stupid. He may not have had his sight, but he definitely had a nose, a sensitive one at that. He smelled the moor cats' scent everywhere. Privately he wondered how far into WindClan he had run.

"Blind?" a she-cat gasped. Her pity frustrated Jaypaw even more. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to reveal his weakness.

"That doesn't excuse trespassing," the first voice growled.

"His eyes look fine! He's probably lying," a young male voice accused. Jaypaw's ears told him the voice was coming from exactly where the vision should be. Was Jaypaw seeing through another cat's eyes?

"Breezepaw, that's terribly insensitive," the pitying she-cat scolded. So the cat whose eyes Jaypaw was seeing from was named Breezepaw?

"ThunderClan isn't known for deception, but no cat reveals a weakness without reason," the dark colored cat meowed. Breezepaw's eyes showed the tom studying Jaypaw carefully. "Who are you?"

"Jaypaw." The tom's face changed, but Jaypaw didn't really have enough experience with seeing to know what that meant.

"Brambleclaw's son?" Ah, that's why, his face changed, it was likely with recognition. "I'm Crowfeather, StarClan sent me on a journey with your father once."

Crowfeather. Now that Jaypaw pondered it, yes, he knew that name. The WindClan warrior wasn't mentioned often since he was once shamefully close to his aunt, Leafpool, but when Squirrelflight regaled stories from the journey his parents went on, Crowfeather was brought up sometimes. Usually as a whiny and grouchy character. Especially after Feathertail, his other half-clan mate, died saving The Tribe of Rushing Water.

"Yeah, he told me you're a pain in the tail." Jaypaw snarked, and was quite satisfied when he heard the she-cats behind Crowfeather stifle their laughter.

"You're trespassing _and_ insulting WindClan?" Breezepaw growled, and Jaypaw could hear him tearing up the grass with his claws.

"Breezepaw, knock it off. Jaypaw's no threat." Ouch. Jaypaw decided he definitely didn't like the white she-cat. "Besides, what would ThunderClan do if they found out we attacked one stray apprentice? It would cause problems for sure."

Breezepaw avoided her gaze and growled, "Fine, Whitetail." Now Jaypaw had all their names except the tabby she-cat.

"Speaking of, why are you here alone, Jaypaw?" Whitetail asked, concern and pity filling her voice again. "Where's your mentor?"

"I just lost track of my surroundings, I was following the lake and—"

"Liar, you were running full tilt!" Breezepaw spat. Jaypaw's fur stood on end, both at Breezepaw's aggression and at his lie being discovered.

"While cats are allowed within a certain stretch of the lake, you were indeed running beyond that boundary before you stopped here," Whitetail agreed. Jaypaw boiled while he wished Breezepaw's vision had kicked in sooner. "Crowfeather, can you escort Jaypaw home while I take Heatherpaw and Breezepaw back to report this?"

Breezepaw's eyes locked on Crowfeather, who spoke slowly, "Of course." Jaypaw heard Whitetail turn and leave, and Breezepaw followed, but kept glancing back at Crowfeather.

"Come on." Crowfeather started padding towards ThunderClan territory. Jaypaw struggled for a moment, he wanted to find out why he had just seen through Breezepaw's eyes. It didn't seem like the WindClan apprentice was affected at all by Jaypaw's vision. Jaypaw tried to search Breezepaw for some sort of appropriate emotional response, but there was just prickly frustration and hostility. The vision was also fading from Jaypaw's eyes rapidly, causing a brief panic. When it was gone entirely, Jaypaw sighed and followed Crowfeather.

The walk home was difficult, since Jaypaw had run out to WindClan in a young apprentice rebellion-motivated rage, the terrain was entirely unfamiliar. With only Crowfeather's pawsteps to guide him, Jayfeather found himself tripping on almost every little thing his whiskers didn't or couldn't warn him about.

Apparently Crowfeather noticed and started vocalizing possible obstacles, which shamed Jaypaw even more. Still, it wasn't _not_ helping, so he allowed it. Eventually Jaypaw recognized the scent of home and put himself back on his mental map of the territory. From there he didn't have much trouble and even walked ahead of Crowfeather to show it. Thankfully he took the hint and fell silent.

Returning to camp was hard. Since Jaypaw had snuck out in the first place, he got in trouble and brought a bit of gossip and drama to the clan, being brought back by Crowfeather of all cats.

Still, the mystery of the vision Jaypaw had seen through Breezepaw's eyes mostly occupied him. So much so that after a bit of convincing himself it was worth it, he decided to ask a medicine cat.


	2. Investigating Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaypaw goes to Leafpool with his questions about the vision he saw through Breezepaw's eyes. After that, he dreams of his ancestors and learns of two paths he can take. He can either face his future with defiance or compliance.

"Leafpool, can I get some advice?" Jaypaw started awkwardly. He wasn't much for asking for help after all. It was evening by now, and he had finally finished the day's chores. Due to the WindClan incident he had been spending a lot of time doing various jobs. Leafpool was shuffling around herbs in the back of her den.

"I assume it isn't advice about how to use mouse bile, is it? You've done that often enough," Leafpool joked with a purr of amusement. Jaypaw spun around to leave. "I'm sorry, of course, Jaypaw! What can I help you with?" She gently slapped a paw pad against the stone next to her, making a sound Jaypaw could track and use to sit next to her. He did so.

"I had a vision." Jaypaw desperately hoped Leafpool wouldn't tell him to be a medicine cat for this. "But it was while I was awake."

Leafpool hummed thoughtfully. "By vision, what do you mean? Do you mean actual sight or did you experience something strange like what you would feel in a dream?"

Jaypaw didn't think either of those were accurate descriptions of what he saw. "In between, I suppose," he settled on.

"In between..." Leafpool muttered. "Please describe what happened clearly, Jaypaw. And everything, even if it's embarrassing."

"Well, do you remember when I ran to WindClan and Crowfeather brought me back?" Jaypaw started with that and Leafpool stiffened. Ha, she was probably expecting him to say something about her and the WindClan warrior. Not everything is about you, auntie. "Well when I met his patrol he was with an apprentice named Breezepaw. When he showed up, I suddenly started seeing whatever he saw, but only that. Even when cats talked around him before his patrol approached me, I could still only hear through my ears."

"Ah..." Leafpool said after a moment, when Jaypaw had stopped speaking. "Do you still see from Breezepaw's eyes?"

"Oh, no, it stopped after he left."

"Have you seen from his eyes since?"

Jaypaw answered no, and although Leafpool asked more questions about things like his dreams and "how his soul felt", he really couldn't give her any other details, except that it was only his sight that was strange, his other senses were his own. Finally, after a while of quiet contemplation, she whispered, "Breezepaw is Crowfeather's son."

"Huh?" Jaypaw didn't know that, but it made sense, like pain in the tail father, like pain in the tail son.

"Nevermind that, I was just recalling who Breezepaw was." Leafpool quickly mewed. "This reminds me of something your mother and I have. When we were apprentices and separated during the time she and Brambleclaw went to the sun-drown-place, I used to have dreams about what she did, and feel things she felt. Even though we were days of travel apart, we still had some sort of connection."

Jaypaw scoffed. "That's nothing like this. I only saw what he saw when we were in the same place, not far apart. Plus, it's not like we're brothers."

Leafpool was quiet for a bit, but finally meowed, "Maybe so, but you're Squirrelflight's son. Maybe you inherited the ability to make some sort of connection with _anyone_ when you need it."

For some reason Jaypaw immediately doubted it. "Then why haven't I connected with anyone in ThunderClan, why WindClan?"

Leafpool murped with laughter. "Well, Squirrelflight was never as aware of our connection as I was."

"And that's why mine isn't as useful?" Jaypaw asked, part disappointedly, part incredulously.

Leafpool sighed. "Perhaps? I can only guess, Jaypaw."

Jaypaw snorted with frustration. Great, still no answers. What did he want to do about it now? It wasn't like he had any real reason to see Breezepaw again anyways, bar at gatherings, so he couldn't even test if he could do it again.

"Tell you what," Leafpool mewed, bringing her tail around Jaypaw comfortingly, "I'll go see StarClan tonight. I'll get some answers right away."

Jaypaw had to admit, that sounded like a promising idea. And she didn't ask him to become a medicine cat to find out for himself, so he had no objections.

"Thanks, Leafpool."

"You're welcome, Jaypaw." Leafpool stood up and poked around her den, gathering herbs from the indentations in the walls, likely. "I'll see you first thing tomorrow."

Jaypaw said his farewells and turned in for the night. It was a bit early for him. After all, the darkness of night never bothered him much, so he tended to stay up as much as Brightheart would let him.

He wasn't exactly sure why he didn't like to sleep earlier. When he opened his eyes in his dreams, he had perfectly fine vision. Jaypaw was walking along with Hollypaw and Lionpaw. He couldn't remember a destination in particular, but since their mentors weren't around, he assumed they were helping Hollypaw with some medicine cat duty.

Jaypaw's eyes were drawn to a dark tabby with white under fur. The mystery tom nodded to Jaypaw and disappeared into the mist. Huh, there was mist now. Jaypaw made some excuse to his siblings to part from them, then followed the tom. He didn't know why he didn't tell them there was an intruder. Lionpaw would have helped him give chase, after all. But the way the cat nodded, like they were acquainted, that roused a curiosity in him he couldn't ignore.

The tabby led Jaypaw past unfamiliar meadows, another forest, even a twoleg place flew by. It looked like they had walked a distance like around the lake, but Jaypaw had only walked a couple tree-lengths.

Finally they came to a dark marsh filled with dying and wilted trees. The sky was pitch black, even though it had been a pleasant day a few moments ago. Foul smelling mushrooms dotted the landscape, but they produced the only light in the area. What immediately struck Jaypaw was how unnatural and disgusting this place was. It was ominous in a way that he couldn't quite place.

"Welcome, Jaypaw." A voice surprised Jaypaw. He whipped around to see two dark tabbies. A one with white and one without. Clearly the one without white was the senior of the two.

"Hello," Jaypaw forced out.

"You might be the first cat who's returned a greeting properly. And I was told you were a difficult cat." The senior tabby chuckled.

"Who told you that?" Jaypaw meowed tensely.

The younger tabby shrugged. "By no one specific. Just most of ThunderClan."

"Most of ThunderClan talks to you? Then why don't I know either of you?" Jaypaw retorted. To be honest he didn't care what rumors were flying around about him.

The older tabby laughed and meowed, "You don't know me? Why Jaypaw, I'm hurt. You don't recognize your grandfather?"

"Does that mean you don't recognize your uncle either?" the tabby with white asked.

Jaypaw suddenly realized he was talking to Tigerstar and Hawkfrost. "Hard to recognize cats without vision."

"But you can see now, can't you?" Hawkfrost asked. "Otherwise you wouldn't have been able to follow me."

"You were so intrusive I could have tracked you from the moon," Jaypaw snarked loudly.

"I hope you're not lying when you say that, Jaypaw. I'd love to see such skill," Tigerstar purred. "I have an offer for you. I will teach you how to fight here, where you can learn to be a warrior." He leaned closer. "Something ThunderClan seems hesitant to do."

Jaypaw thought about how difficult it had been to get anything useful out of Brightheart and Longtail. Like he needed a half blind and another blind cat to teach him how to be blind. He'd been doing just fine from birth after all. In fact, he remembered hearing Leafpool and Squirrelflight hadn't even noticed he was blind until some time after he had opened his eyes. He kept thinking that proper warrior training would come as soon as he finally got it through to them that _Jaypaw knew how to be blind_ , but after the heavy chore schedule and everything, he was beginning to lose hope. Maybe training with the obviously evil Tigerstar was the only way he could reach his dreams.

Jaypaw searched Tigerstar's heart. He tried to get a sense for what the dark tabby was thinking, but to Jaypaw's surprise he was inscrutable. That left Jaypaw uneasy.

"What's the matter, Jaypaw? You can't trust us?" Hawkfrost asked.

"StarClan forbid you do." A new voice filled the marshy forest. A glittering StarClan cat stepped gracefully up from behind Jaypaw. She positioned herself protectively next to him. Her eyes were steely and confident. Tigerstar stood tall at the StarClan cat's approach.

"Hello, Spottedleaf. It's been seasons upon seasons since I've seen you."

The beautiful tortoiseshell glared harder. "We're clanmates no longer, Tigerstar."

"And it's been even longer since you visited this forest, hasn't it?" Tigerstar mused. Jaypaw didn't need his dream sight to tell Spottedleaf had stiffened completely at that comment. "So have you come to take this one back to your territory, then? What a shame." Tigerstar locked eyes with Jaypaw again. "So long, Jaypaw. Visit again soon, won't you?"

Tigerstar dipped his head in salutation, Hawkfrost following suit, and the two toms left. Spottedleaf steered Jaypaw back the way she came. She didn't speak until they stepped through a fog barrier so thick Jaypaw had trouble breathing.

"Welcome back to StarClan, Jaypaw," Spottedleaf mewed weakly. Jaypaw questioned her choice of words, he'd never been to StarClan before, but perhaps she was just guessing he had wandered from here to Tigerstar's forest.

"What was that?" Jaypaw asked. "Was that really Tigerstar? Why is he there? Don't all warrior ancestors go to StarClan?"

Spottedleaf took a moment to answer him. While Jaypaw waited he observed StarClan. The territory certainly looked nice, there was a breathtaking amount of stars in the sky and the colors were vibrant and lovely to look at. Jaypaw didn't really have a lot of the real world to compare it to, but it did look nicer than the WindClan territory he saw through Breezepaw's eyes. Oh yeah, he should ask about that next. 

"That was The Place of No Stars," Spottedleaf finally said. "Clan cats who desire to defy the warrior code go there upon their deaths. They do not belong in StarClan. Tigerstar's spirit does indeed reside there."

"Do you know what in StarClan was going on with my vision when I met that WindClan patrol?" Jaypaw wondered if using that StarClan-centric expression was appropriate in StarClan's midst, but disregarded that. What was said was said.

Spottedleaf turned her head away from Jaypaw and looked out into the StarClan version of the lake. Jaypaw gazed that way too. Did the lake have an answer for him?

"I'm not sure to be quite honest."

Jaypaw frowned deeply. "Well is there someone else who can be sure-er? Who are you anyways?"

Spottedleaf turned back. "I was ThunderClan's medicine cat before Yellowfang, who was before Cinderpelt, who was before Leafpool."

"But you're so young?" Jaypaw's words slipped out before he could rationalise what he'd been told.

Spottedleaf snorted with amusement. "You expected me to be old? Even the oldest elder can appear as young as they wish when they're welcomed into StarClan. But my youth wasn't exactly a choice. No, I died young, Jaypaw."

"I wish that were me," Jaypaw joked. Spottedleaf looked horrified, so Jaypaw had to quickly reassure her he was kidding.

"Do not kid about such things, Jaypaw," Spottedleaf scolded him sternly. "Don't allow those thoughts to take root in your mind, eventually they'll become honest thoughts and bring you great sorrow."

Jaypaw literally visited the place where evil cats rot away in horrid conditions, but apparently a fatalistic joke was worse? Alright, Spottedleaf. "Sure, sorry."

"While I'm on the topic, don't allow Tigerstar to taint your mind, either. All he wants is power over anything he can still grasp with those wicked, hooked claws of his. He doesn't care for you or for ThunderClan. Do not be deceived."

Nothing new for Tigerstar, then. "I kind of figured he'd be untrustworthy when I heard the stories of what he did in the old forest," Jaypaw meowed. He started padding onwards.

"Where do you think you're going?" Spottedleaf asked with an edge to her meow. Finally Jaypaw's attitude had worn her down, he supposed.

"To find a cat who can tell me what happened between me and Breezepaw."

"I don't think you'll find a single cat in StarClan who will know."

Jaypaw turned to give her an angry retort about how he'll look anyways, but found Spottedleaf had disappeared. He whirled back to the direction he had been going, but Spottedleaf was standing there, somehow.

"How did—"

"I have not told you all you needed to hear tonight. Jaypaw, you must become a medicine cat."

"No!" Jaypaw's rage immediately reached a boiling point. "I'll become a great warrior! I know Longtail didn't, and I know it'll be difficult, but I'm willing and I'll make it because I want this more than anything! I just need a good mentor who won't hold me back." How convenient he had just met a couple cats who would certainly train Jaypaw to the best of their abilities.

Spottedleaf must have noticed Jaypaw's plan through some clue in his emotions. "Jaypaw, I forbid you to see Tigerstar."

"Fat load of good your forbidding will do." Spottedleaf had made Jaypaw mad, and now that she had, there was no way she could make him do anything. "You're not my medicine cat anymore anyways. In fact, Hollypaw is. Do you want me to make Hollypaw give up her dream of being a medicine cat so I can be bossed around by you?"

"It's not Hollypaw's destiny to be ThunderClan's next medicine cat," she answered quickly. "It's yours, and I can see nothing good coming from training with Tigerstar."

"So?"

"Not only have I seen the damage and pain Tigerstar has caused, but he'll lead you down the wrong path! I know your future! Your destiny! Making you a medicine cat will help your clan, and not only that, all the clans!"

Jaypaw's tail was lashing violently now. "Maybe that's what you see, but if you haven't noticed, I've gotten by without visions for my whole life and I'll continue to do so!" He shoved himself nose to nose with Spottedleaf. "So get out of my way."

Spottedleaf stared him straight in the eyes with the same sort of steely gaze she gave Tigerstar when Jaypaw had met her. "So you'll pursue your dreams at the cost of everything around you?"

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I won't cost them anything! I'll serve my clan as warrior, I'm not abandoning them like a weak willed kittypet."

"Tigerstar also thought he was serving his clan when he murdered two deputies and brought an enemy greater than himself to the clans. His arrogance brought ruin, and so will yours." She shook her head. "I'm surprised you have more Tigerstar than Firestar in you."

"Sorry for the family resemblance," Jaypaw said sarcastically. She was silent for a moment, so Jaypaw took a step to move past her. She watched him as he passed. As her anger died down, Jaypaw could tell great disappointment remained.

"Your fate is not yet sealed. Please reconsider before it's too late. Whatever you do, do not see Tigerstar again."

Jaypaw woke up.


	3. So I Don't Have To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jaypaw checks the medicine cat den for news from Leafpool, he finds Hollypaw instead and discusses the path of a medicine cat with her.

Jaypaw had taken some time to calm down after his dream about StarClan and The Place of No Stars. Now it was time to see if Leafpool had discovered anything more than he managed to.

"Hi, Jaypaw!" Hollypaw chirped. Jaypaw greeted her in return and listened for if Leafpool was in the medicine cat den. He couldn't sense anything, but she could be asleep, so he asked just in case.

"Is Leafpool here?"

Hollypaw answered, "Nope, she went to quick grab an herb. Oh yeah, she went to StarClan for you last night, I hope you don't mind that I know why."

"That's fine," Jaypaw meowed. He could trust his sister with that. He kind of figured Hollypaw would be told anyways. "Do you know if she learned anything?"

Hollypaw gave an I-don't-know hum. "I was asleep when she got back. I asked today, but she was kinda cagey about it. She probably just wanted to wait for you, though."

"That would make sense." Jaypaw wondered if Spottedleaf had told Leafpool what he'd said to her, about Tigerstar.

"I wonder why that vision thing only happened with that WindClan apprentice. Breezepaw? Was that his name? Weird."

Jaypaw gave a little hum of agreement. "How's your training been?" he asked Hollypaw, Spottedleaf's words about his sister's destiny still in his mind.

Hollypaw snorted. "Oh, you know. It's coming along. There's a lot of memorization. Maybe you can help? You're good at memorizing."

Jaypaw wanted to disagree just because it was medicine cat-related. He didn't want anything to do with it. But, well, if Hollypaw needed his help...

"It's OK, Jaypaw, you don't have to."

"No, I'll help. What do you need?"

Hollypaw led her brother into the den and sat next to him. "Oh, just some tips on how to remember things easier. You've memorized the whole camp layout, so I was wondering if you had a special method?"

His "special method" was relying on that information just to navigate safely. Still, if it was only memory tricks, maybe he could help.

"Well, I memorize because I need to, maybe you can put the same sense of urgency in needing to know herbs?" Jaypaw suggested. "After all, you may need to know them quickly to save a cat's life."

He felt Hollypaw give a little jolt. "Great StarClan, you're right," she gasped. Then he could feel a great fear coming from her. Uh oh.

"Hollypaw?"

"Jaypaw, when I decided to be a medicine cat it's because I wanted to..." Hollypaw paused and breathed to calm down a little. "I know this sounds a little conceited, but when I saw Leafpool treating you after the fox cub incident, I wanted to be respected and powerful like her."

Then Hollypaw quickly meowed, "But it's not just that! I want to serve ThunderClan with my life and the best way to do that is probably being a medicine cat, right? After all, I'd be giving up a life of freedom. I couldn't even leave ThunderClan without seriously putting everyone in danger. Not that I'd want to leave."

Hollypaw was now completely calm. "Also, StarClan is really fascinating. I haven't even known someone who died yet and I want to see our dead ancestors already. I wish Firestar had made us apprentices before the half moon. I'm super eager to go."

Well at least one of them was excited about being a medicine cat. "So what's wrong?" Jaypaw asked, still curious why Hollypaw panicked. He heard her shuffle her paws.

"Well, I was just thinking about what you said, if somehow I fail to remember the herbs or how to treat someone, they could die because of it. I don't know if I could bear that." Jaypaw felt her whiskers brush his fur as her head dipped downward.

Jaypaw thought about that. True, that's definitely something that would bother him, too. Panic rose in his own chest when he imagined being on the battlefield and not knowing when a clanmate needed help because of his blindness, and perhaps that costing another cat their life. He decided to share that thought with Hollypaw.

"So, I definitely get it," Jaypaw said when he was finished explaining. "But that's a risk for every warrior, not just blind cats. I'll learn to overcome that boundary and make sure I'll have a method for finding out when my clanmates need my assistance in battle." His thoughts drifted to Tigerstar's offer. Surely Tigerstar wasn't such a fool that he wouldn't see the value in teaching Jaypaw how to notice a hurt ally.

Hollypaw's head rose. Jaypaw could sense a new determination budding within her. "So I just need a method too, right?"

"Exactly," Jaypaw meowed. "Which was actually what you wanted me for, right? See, you're fine. Besides, Leafpool's around and she wouldn't give you anything you couldn't handle." He touched his nose to her ear, and aimed it correctly to his pride. "You'll be a great medicine cat." _So I don't have to._

"Thanks Jaypaw, you've helped a lot." Hollypaw nuzzled him back, a purr in her throat. "OK! I'll do my best to put more emphasis on needing to know these herbs. Maybe then I'll finally get them right."

Jaypaw drew back when he heard pawsteps approach the den. The scent of Leafpool wafted in, so even if Hollypaw hadn't greeted her by name, he'd have known.

"Did you find anything out?" Jaypaw asked.

"Jaypaw! Oh, yes, I did." Her words were muffled since she had herbs in her mouth, but Jaypaw could still hear the awkwardness in her tone, like she didn't really want to talk about it.

"Well, what do you know? I want to know, even if it's embarrassing." He attempted to lighten her mood by repeating her words from yesterday. It didn't really seem to work, he heard her shuffle more.

"Well," Leafpool started slowly, pausing for a while. Jaypaw fidgeted with his paws as he waited. "I'm sorry, Jaypaw, I can't tell you about it."

Jaypaw's heart sunk to his paws. Did Spottedleaf tell her what he had said last night? Is that why Leafpool wasn't allowed to talk about it? Jaypaw's whiskers twitched with indignant fury.

"I'm sorry, I know you're disappointed, Jaypaw," Leafpool tried to comfort him. He couldn't sit still. Jaypaw walked out of the den to look for Brightheart. He heard Leafpool sigh as he left, but he didn't care. Brightheart was surprised when Jaypaw went looking for her to start his duties for the day, just more chores for running off to WindClan, but anything was fine to take his mind of what had happened.


	4. Tough Apprenticeships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hollypaw isn't the only one struggling with her apprenticeship, with Jaypaw stuck with chores and Lionpaw only keeping up with his mentor's difficult training, the triplets aren't having an easy time.

"Why can't you tell Jaypaw?" Hollypaw asked Leafpool. After having such a rare moment of open conversation with her brother, she was actually pretty mad at Leafpool for ruining his mood. Sure, it wasn't really her fault, Jaypaw was a moody cat in general, but she couldn't help feeling like it was just wrong to know what Jaypaw wanted to know and not share it with him.

"It's just a secret that can't be shared."

Hollypaw tried to get more answers out of Leafpool, but she gave no further details than that. Finally she just gave up and tried to focus on her learning.

It turned out to be a frustrating day in general for Hollypaw. Almost every time she practiced identifying an herb, she got it wrong at least once, and even when she got one right on the first time it was just a guess. Still, when she was corrected on each one she imagined giving the wrong herb to the wrong cat and them suffering because of it. As dark as it was, it was a good motivator for doing better, and she really did start to improve by the end of the day.

Still, it was slow improvement. The next few days had small progresses, and Hollypaw was starting to become jealous of Lionpaw's success. Every night the three siblings met up and talked about their days. Sure Ashfur was a difficult mentor, but at least his apprentice was doing well despite it. Jaypaw and Hollypaw were still in ruts due to the chores and the slow learning.

"I guess this is going to be harder than we thought," Lionpaw remarked. The other two agreed.

"Don't worry, it gets easier." Hollypaw looked up to see Hazelpaw looking at the trio with sympathy. "Once you get in the swing of it, it's not too bad."

"And that's coming from Dustpelt's apprentice!" Mousepaw meowed teasingly, also joining the conversation.

Dustpelt was a respected warrior, he had been an apprentice alongside Firestar after all, but he was a bit standoffish and stern, which made him difficult to get to know too well. Especially for apprentices.

"Oh, he's not terrible." Hazelpaw playfully batted at her brother. "Just be careful he doesn't find out you said that, or he really will be someone to worry about."

The apprentices laughed as Mousepaw nervously checked to make sure Dustpelt wasn't listening.

"You know, the gathering is coming up! It'll be your first one, right?" Mousepaw asked, maybe a bit desperate to change the subject.

Hollypaw looked at Lionpaw. He looked uncomfortable too. They had tried to avoid bringing up the gathering, since it was pretty obvious Jaypaw wasn't going to go, his visit to WindClan territory still fresh.

"Not mine," Jaypaw meowed like it was a simple fact.

"Don't say that!" Hollypaw encouraged. "Maybe Firestar will let us go all together."

"We may be his kin, but he can't show favoritism," Jaypaw replied, finishing his mouse. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

Uh oh, Jaypaw almost never went to bed early. Hollypaw tried to stop him, but he ignored her and went to the apprentices' den anyways.

"Oops." Mousepaw hung his head and looked sorry. Lionpaw was giving him a glare, but Hollypaw couldn't blame him, he didn't know. 

Hazelpaw gave Mousepaw a harder, but not violent, swat this time. "Nice going, furball."

Later, when Hollypaw finished her own meal, she went to Jaypaw's nest to check on him. He was sound asleep already, which surprised her. He was twitching in his sleep, muttering and grumbling. Was he having a dream? Hollypaw wondered if it was a nightmare, he was pretty restless. She wanted to wake him up, but suddenly she doubted her reason to check on him in the first place. Should she really be bringing up the gathering when he obviously didn't want to talk about it?

No, Hollypaw left the apprentices' den quietly. She could talk to him later. She stopped by where Lionpaw was picking up the bones of his fresh-kill.

"Watch out for Jaypaw tonight, I think he was having nightmares."

Lionpaw shrugged. "I dunno, I don't think I can. Last time I woke him up he got really mad at me."

That surprised Hollypaw. "Did he not know he was having nightmares when he woke up?"

"Um, well when I asked about nightmares he said he wasn't having any, and he said that so confidently that I didn't really doubt him at the time."

Then what was going on? "I'll ask Leafpool about it." Sure Jaypaw was mad at her for keeping secrets from him, but... "If he's having dreams that make him that restless, that can't be healthy for him," Hollypaw explained. 

Lionpaw just nodded an agreement, his mouth full of the bones he needed to discard. Oh, that reminded Hollypaw that she needed to take care of her own prey bones. If only there were boneless prey. That'd be convenient.

When Hollypaw finished explaining Jaypaw's sleeping, Leafpool looked troubled, but far more troubled than Hollypaw expected. Was this kind of sleeping a sign of something serious? Suddenly she was glad she had caught his behavior so quickly.

Leafpool must have seen the matching horror on Hollypaw's face, since she gave her apprentice a quick lick on the forehead to soothe her. "Don't worry, Hollypaw. I believe it's a matter of the heart more than any physical illness. There's nothing we can do except support and encourage him to stay on the path of a righteous clan cat."

Righteous clan cat? Hollypaw looked up at Leafpool to study her face. Leafpool's caring and concerned features didn't give a thing away, unfortunately. Still, Hollypaw couldn't help but wonder at her mentor's weird wording. Why so vague, yet so specific? Hollypaw finally decided Leafpool had worded it that way because she wanted to avoid saying Jaypaw's path included being a _warrior_. That realization put her heart into despair, though. After all, Hollypaw was sure that if anyone understood and supported Jaypaw's desire for warrior training, it would be Leafpool, their own kin.

What would Jaypaw do if he wasn't a warrior? Surely Leafpool couldn't train two apprentices at once. Would Leafpool prefer Jaypaw to be her apprentice? Hollypaw's whole body wanted to go limp at that thought. She almost dropped some herbs she had been putting away. Would Jaypaw even be capable of medicine cat duties? Hollypaw immediately scolded herself for even considering that. Not only was Jaypaw capable of anything he wanted, Hollypaw knew Jaypaw would excel at medicine cat duties, he had even been able to correct Hollypaw during her herb training.

Maybe Hollypaw was right to doubt her ability to be a medicine cat. True, Jaypaw supported her and thought she'd do well, but if Leafpool thought Jaypaw would serve ThunderClan better than her, or, well, if Leafpool thought _anyone_ would suit the role better than Hollypaw, who was she to complain? To argue with that she really would just be like a kit who thought themselves the most important kitten in the nursery.

"Hollypaw? Are you alright? You've been staring at the herbs for a while now." Leafpool gently curled her tail around Hollypaw's shoulders, causing the apprentice to jump as she was pulled from her thoughts.

"I'm OK!" Hollypaw said too quickly. Should she share her insecurities with Leafpool? Sure, she might get some answers, but what if they were answers she was dreading? Hollypaw couldn't imagine Leafpool facing these kinds of doubts when she was a 'paw, either. "This one is borage, right?" Hollypaw pointed at a random herb, trying to distract Leafpool from her obvious lie.

"Correct! Well done, Hollypaw," Leafpool purred, then turned and paced to the other side of the den, where she was clearing out the small pool of water in the back. Hollypaw's heart sank. Even when she was trying to mess up which herbs were which, she failed at that.


	5. Holly Frog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hollypaw faces an anxiety attack at the gathering, which causes her to run off and discover a frog.

It was the night of the gathering, and by StarClan was it crowded. Hollypaw had never seen so many cats before in one place, it was dizzying. When she turned to look for a familiar face in Lionpaw, who had been right beside her, he was gone, and she caught sight of his golden coat over by the WindClan apprentices. Lionpaw was so brave, Hollypaw felt like if anyone looked at her, she'd burst into little tufts of fur and drift away on the wind.

She desperately needed to slip away.

Hollypaw retreated into the section of ThunderClan warriors and slunk past them, into the wall of thickets that ran around the island. The chatter of what must have been a hundred cats or so was instantly muffled, but the anxiety rising in Hollypaw's body wouldn't calm itself. She crept through the large bush she had hid inside, feeling the need to move further away from everything.

She put down her paw in a pile of dead leaves and quickly discovered they were atop a dead, fallen branch. It collapsed under her weight and sent her tumbling down the bank of the island. She landed in icy shallows, thankfully, so she wasn't in any danger, just wet and cold. Some nearby rocks served a good place to sit after dragging herself out. Her thin fur was doing nothing for her warmth, especially when soaked to the bone in late Leafbare.

Should she have been scared? Startled even? Yeah, definitely, but Hollypaw felt a strange apathy for the whole situation. She hadn't even yelped on her way down the bank. She curled up on the rock and wished she could just go home already. This hadn't been the first gathering she had been anticipating at all. Not only was Jaypaw not allowed to come, but Hollypaw couldn't believe that she reacted this way. ThunderClan was supposed to be known for its brave warriors, but what was she doing? Cowardly running away and laying around like a lazy kittypet. Sure, she was training as a medicine cat apprentice, but even a medicine cat needed to be brave and face fears and responsibilities.

Part of her wished she could just be some sort of other animal and she wouldn't have to worry about being a cat and having all this pressure on her. She looked up from her soaked paws and noticed a frog sitting on some sort of water plant, an odd sight in Leafbare. Yeah, a frog would be better.

As soon as that thought entered her head, she felt herself becoming even dizzier, and even more numb, physically numb this time. When Hollypaw couldn't feel anything at all, and her vision swam with spots of darkness and light, she just shut her eyes and begged StarClan for help in a small prayer.

And then everything was OK. She could feel the cold stone under her, and the chilly midnight wind brushed against her damp skin in perfect clarity. She opened her eyes, and what she noticed first was how _different_ the world looked. Hollypaw could see the world in surprisingly vivid color, even in the low light of the moon.

Next she noticed she was a frog.

Hollypaw wasn't sure how one should respond to this kind of thing. Panic? Actually, most of her panic over the gathering was gone, so she felt relatively calm. Horror? Maybe a bit, Hollypaw was mostly surprised StarClan chose to answer her prayers like this. Was this some sort of curse for leaving the gathering?

"I must be going crazy." Surprisingly, it wasn't Hollypaw who said that. She looked up and noticed the frog she had looked at before her transformation was staring at her. "You were a cat. Now you're a frog. I'm sorry, am I missing something?" it asked.

"I don't think you are..." Hollypaw replied, finding her voice. "If you are, we're both missing it," she croaked. Did all frogs talk? Was ShadowClan just heartless and cruel for eating frogs?

"You're messing with me, you have to have pulled some trick." The frog adjusted its legs under it to turn away. "Well, not falling for it. Bye. Don't get eaten by all the cats here tonight." Hollypaw watched it hop away, and she didn't try to stop it. After all, how could she ask it to help her? How could she possibly convince a _frog_ that her dead ancestors had turned her into a frog to punish her for her anxiety about the hundred cats who were, by the code, certain to be civil to her. Frogs didn't have that sort of luxury.

But now she had to wonder, what did Hollypaw plan to do from here?

"Thank you StarClan for this weird experience, but can I please go back to normal?" Hollypaw prayed. After all, if they did this to her, they could turn her back. "I've learned my lesson, I don't want to be a frog, I'll go back to the gathering and be brave!"

Then the dizziness returned, along with the numbness. It didn't take nearly as long for them both to fade, though. When Hollypaw blinked her eyes back open, she noticed she had fur again, and it was even relatively dry. Her vision was back to normal, the world covered in monotone moonlight. 

She stood on shaky paws and turned back to the steep bank. As she climbed, she resolved not to tell anyone what had happened. Except maybe Leafpool. She pushed her way back into the clearing, and she found the news part of the gathering had already started. It seemed that no one had noticed her leave or come back. Hollypaw tried to listen, but found her mind going back to what had happened. When Firestar announced her as part of ThunderClan's newest group of apprentices, for a second she thought everyone had suddenly known what had happened, as all four clans had all turned to look at her. As much as she felt like it, she didn't burst into tufts of fur and drift away.

As if that wasn't overwhelming enough, two cats she didn't recognize dropped in on the gathering, and they ended up being Graystripe, ThunderClan's former deputy all assumed to be dead, and a kittypet named Millie. Hollypaw had never known him, but he was apparently Firestar's closest friend. There were some grumblings from the other clans about the kittypet, and who would be ThunderClan's deputy. On the way home all of ThunderClan was chatting about just that, and who deserved it more, Graystripe or Brambleclaw. Although Brambleclaw was her own father, Hollypaw couldn't focus on the topic enough to think about it. Her mind was totally consumed by the frog transformation.

"Are you OK?" Leafpool asked, noticing how out of it Hollypaw was. "Are you worried about Brambleclaw?"

Hollypaw could only numbly shake her head.

Leafpool brushed her tail down Hollypaw's spine, the tactility bringing her back to the present moment. "I know you take great pride in him as the deputy of ThunderClan, but even if he wasn't, he's still a great and honorable warrior. Not being deputy, and even leader, doesn't mean a cat can't be fully respected and serve their clan well. Mistaking that, that was Tigerstar's vice."

"At least Tigerstar wasn't a crazy coward," Hollypaw muttered.

"What?" Leafpool looked confused. "What happened?" Hollypaw shook her head. The two of them slowed to a halt. Their clanmates passed them, and then Leafpool nodded to Hollypaw.

"It's not that big a deal," Hollypaw started. "I got overwhelmed with the amount of cats there so I ran off, fell in the water, and then StarClan punished me for it."

"Punished you?" Leafpool asked.

"I started wishing that I wasn't me so I wouldn't have to deal with everything that was going on, and I noticed a frog and wished I was just a frog instead, and then StarClan turned me into a frog." The words were tumbling out of Hollypaw's mouth. "I prayed and asked them to turn me back and they did! But I still feel awful about it, and I don't know if I want to go to the Moonpool on the half moon. I feel like they hate me. I can't get any herbs right, I'm a coward, and—"

Leafpool pressed her forehead into Hollypaw's. "Shhhh, it's alright. Take a deep breath. I've already spoken to StarClan since taking you as my apprentice, remember? If they disagreed with that, they would have told me already. Our ancestors love us, and they wouldn't resent you just for being startled at the gathering. And that's all that happened. Every apprentice can get overwhelmed on their first gathering, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

Hollypaw's anxieties melted away as she listened and breathed. She pushed her face into Leafpool's fur and finally felt calm as her mentor groomed her ears.

"Thank you," Hollypaw sat up and smiled, and Leafpool returned it.

"Of course. Let's go home." Leafpool stood up, then winked to Hollypaw and set off at a run.

"Wha—Hey!" Hollypaw stumbled to find her paws at first, but quickly ran after her. "Is this a race? You need to tell me first, cheater!"

The two laughed into the night. They even flew past the rest of ThunderClan when they reached the border to their territory. It was just what Hollypaw needed to distract herself.


	6. Darkness to Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaypaw trains with Tigerstar on the night of the gathering.

Jaypaw hadn't been training with Tigerstar and Hawkfrost for long, but he appreciated every moment. It was a breath of fresh air every night to be treated like a normal apprentice. They didn't toe around him cautiously, they told him where he was making mistakes the instant he made them. They didn't try to put it delicately, quite the opposite actually. 

That meant he had to really push himself to earn their respect and praise, of course, but somehow it felt more achievable in The Place of No Stars, and it wasn't because he could see in his dreams. Actually, he often kept his eyes closed during training. It felt like less of a battle against others, their inability to see Jaypaw as a capable cat, and more of a battle against himself. He could prove himself capable here by just doing well. In the world outside of his dreams, it felt more like an argument he could never win, because no one would bother to listen.

"Again, and stop distributing your weight unevenly." Tigerstar sat alert atop a grime-covered boulder. Hawkfrost was Jaypaw's sparring partner, although it was hardly sparring when they both used unsheathed claws.

Jaypaw adjusted his stance and hopped backwards with ease when Hawkfrost lunged forward. His opponent was larger, but slower, likely due to RiverClan training methods, who tended to use their powerful, bludgeoning swats more than quick slices and bites. 

He sidled to the right, circling around, and leaped onto Hawkfrost's back, biting at his ears. The taste of dead flesh filled Jaypaw's mouth, but he was used to that.

Hawkfrost shook himself, trying to dislodge the apprentice, but Jaypaw simply pulled his legs under him and kicked off, landing elegantly on his paws.

The disgraced warrior was knocked over to his side, leaving his belly exposed. Jaypaw dove for it, but earned a kick in the jaw for his hastiness.

He backed away, and Hawkfrost took the opportunity to get to his paws and swing another forepaw at Jaypaw's head.

This swipe grazed Jaypaw's ears as he ducked.

Hawkfrost reared up without even putting his forepaw back on the ground. Jaypaw realized he wouldn't have enough time to position himself to dodge, so he sprang up, directly into Hawkfrost's chest, headbutting his opponent off balance.

Still, Jaypaw had put himself far too close, and he felt claws dig into his shoulders and drag him down.

The two of them struggled in the thin layer of muck on the ground. Jaypaw was doing everything he could to protect his throat and belly, but Hawkfrost was ruthless, attacking everywhere else as they tussled on the ground in an effort to convince Jaypaw to shift his guard.

"Stop."

Finally Tigerstar called off the fight, and Hawkfrost let go and backed off. Jaypaw stood, wincing at his scratches and blinking his eyes open.

"You fight as if you can win by being untouchable. You made one mistake and it doomed you. Your blindness _will_ cause you to make mistakes. You need to learn to recover and go back on the offensive."

Jaypaw nodded. Although he certainly enjoyed the agility of dancing around his opponent, he knew it would be difficult to do in all circumstances, especially if he wasn't fighting one on one.

"Tigerstar."

The three cats turned to the shadows as a red and black calico with white stepped out of them and up to the boulder Tigerstar sat upon.

"Mapleshade." Tigerstar greeted her, but he didn't look very pleased. "What's the reason for the interruption?"

She smiled, like she didn't notice Tigerstar's displeasure. "I was watching the gathering and discovered something interesting. You'll want to hear about it."

Jaypaw noticed her eyes flick to him, but otherwise she seemed to ignore him, quite pointedly. Was he disliked already? It was impossible to tell, because for some reason he couldn't know the hearts of the dead here. Still, he was quite interested in what Mapleshade had to say.

"Fine. We'll train no further." Tigerstar arched his back in a stretch, then descended from the rock and walked away with Mapleshade. Hawkfrost shrugged and followed after them without a goodbye. There was clearly no invitation to follow, so the gathering would have to be a secret until Jaypaw woke up and met the cats who went.

Jaypaw hadn't actually left the shadowy forest without being woken for the new day's duties, so he wasn't sure how to leave early. He suspected he would merely have to fall asleep within the dream, but when he looked down at his stinging scratches and fur full of muck, he knew that wouldn't be possible. He stood and began searching for an exit to this foul place. He wasn't going to dare ingest the gunk by licking himself, and no stream in these woods would do him any better.

In his wandering, he found a large wall of fog that he recognized from when Spottedleaf fetched him from the forest on his first night there. He padded through it, struggling to breathe through the dense moisture, but soon it thinned and Jaypaw found himself in StarClan's territory.

He knew vaguely that StarClan mirrored the territory of the clans in the realm of the living, but he had no idea how to recognize his surroundings by sight. He decided to head for the lake for his bath.

The full moon casted soft shadows as it neared the horizon behind the other side of the lake. 

Jaypaw dipped his paw in the lake, expecting it to be the freezing cold of late Leafbare, but he was surprised to find it pleasantly warm. He wasted no time in wading in and rinsing his body of the dark forest grime. His scratches stung a bit when the water first washed them, but as the pain faded, he realized it felt similarly to being treated with dock poultice. When he pulled himself out, he looked at the scratches and found most of them had scabbed supernaturally fast, if they weren't healed over completely.

From there he found a warm boulder to sleep on, and he found himself almost drifting off, but of course he was interrupted.

"You're Jaypaw, are you not?"

He cracked open an eye and saw a silver she-cat looking down at him, and she was beautiful. Likely the prettiest cat he'd ever seen, outshining even Spottedleaf. Then again, for Jaypaw, he'd had the opportunity to _see_ very few cats. He likely wasn't the best judge of that sort of thing. She was certainly pleasing to his eyes, though.

"Yeah," he replied, stretching out a foreleg. "Come to tell me to be a medicine cat? Or scold me for training with Tigerstar? I assure you, I'm just using him."

The silver cat looked awkward. "No?" Then she laughed. "Honestly, I can't be scared of Tigerstar anymore, not after Cinderpelt forcibly recruited him to help with my kits' birth when she was yet an apprentice." Jaypaw blinked numbly. Did that really happen? He couldn't imagine Tigerstar bowing to an apprentice's will. "No, that's not it at all. I want you to deliver a message for me."

Jaypaw gave her his full attention. "Uh, OK, I've never been asked that before. To who? And who are you? And why can't you just tell the cat yourself? StarClan can walk in dreams, right?"

"Oh, terribly sorry, I'm Silverstream. And I can't, out of choice."

Jaypaw recognized that name, vaguely. In the stories he'd been told about his parents' travels, they mentioned Stormfur and Feathertail as the children of Graystripe and a RiverClan warrior named Silverstream, but he didn't remember how she had died.

"How come?" Jaypaw asked, putting his attention back on the conversation.

Silverstream smiled. "You'll see why once I give you the context of the message."

"Alright," Jaypaw shrugged, "who's the message for? Stormfur?"

"He should hear it too, but mainly it's for Graystripe."

Jaypaw frowned in confusion. Graystripe was captured by twolegs long before Jaypaw and his siblings were born. How could he get that message to him? If he was even still alive.

"How am I going to do that?"

"He's returned to the clans while you've slept this night." Despite the longing in her heart, Jaypaw could also tell she was overjoyed he found his way home. "He's brought a kittypet with him, and I can tell they love each other, and that love is just as deep as the love he had for me."

"Oh." Jaypaw didn't know what to say. She was hurting, but she also seemed happy for him? Jaypaw decided he didn't understand romance. "I think I see why you don't want to talk to him yourself."

Silverstream laughed, it was a delicate laugh, like a gentle morning's birdsong. "Yes. Thank you for understanding."

"Is it OK if I pass it off to Leafpool?" Jaypaw asked. "I don't want to be a medicine cat, so I don't want to tell cats I can just chat to StarClan any time they want to send a message to you all."

Silverstream hummed with understanding. "Yes, thank you, Jaypaw. I want Graystripe to know that he will always own my heart, but he should live in the present, and if he wants to give his heart to Millie, he should. I love him and Stormfur so dearly, and I'll be watching over them."

Her pain and love in equal measures touched Jaypaw's heart, and he couldn't help but feel sorry she died. While their relationship was against the code, and thus doomed anyways, this was an even sadder fate.

"As soon as I wake up, I'll tell Leafpool."

"I'll let you get to it, then." Silverstream nodded gratefully, which also served as a goodbye, then turned and padded away.

As Jaypaw dozed off, he wondered if the information Mapleshade had to offer Tigerstar was about Graystripe's return. No, she looked like she had something bigger than a lost warrior returning to the clan Tigerstar was exiled from. What had happened at the gathering? His fading thoughts were about his frustration at being left out that night.

Jaypaw awoke when the cats who went to the gathering returned, and wow was it busy. He thought the hubbub about Graystripe's return was reason he didn't hear Leafpool's voice among them, and when he asked about her, his clanmates told him Leafpool and Hollypaw had raced each other all the way home. Strange. He located Leafpool in her den and told her the message he had from Silverstream.

"You're dreaming of StarClan?" Leafpool felt relieved for a reason Jaypaw couldn't discern. Perhaps she did know he was visiting Tigerstar for training, and she was relieved he was in StarClan instead? Or maybe she, too, wanted him to become her apprentice. Well, either way she was setting herself up for disappointment, because he only went to StarClan because his lessons were canceled and he didn't intend on becoming anything but a warrior.

"Yeah, just the once." Jaypaw her truthfully. "I guess she needed someone who was asleep, and she picked me."

"Hm, well, I suppose it's an urgent enough message," Leafpool agreed. "Thank you for delivering that message, Jaypaw, it's very kind of you."

"Sure..." He heard her pawsteps leave the den, then he angled his ears to Hollypaw. "Are you still awake, Hollypaw?"

"Yeah." She sounded like she was near or in her bedding, though. "I'm curious why Silverstream didn't contact Leafpool herself. It's just one night." Jaypaw could feel some jealousy emanating from Hollypaw.

"Sorry, but she probably just wanted to say it soon."

"Sorry? You didn't do anything wrong," Hollypaw muttered. Now she was feeling guilty. Jaypaw decided to make himself scarce before he upset her further.

"I'm on the dawn patrol, so I'll see you later."

"Oh, your chores and confinement punishment is over?" Hollypaw asked.

"Kinda, I'm assigned to a lot of dawn patrols. Most of it ended with not going to the gathering." There Jaypaw ran his mouth again, and now Hollypaw was feeling sorry for him. He was sorry they didn't get to go as siblings too, though.

Jaypaw said his goodbyes and headed out.


	7. StarClan Scolding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hollypaw visits the Moonpool for the first time, and there she will see if the path of a medicine cat is truly hers to take.

Firestar asked Leafpool to go to the Moonpool and ask StarClan who should be deputy, Graystripe or Brambleclaw, and Hollypaw went with her this time. Even though Leafpool had been nothing but reassuring, Hollypaw still had her doubts that she would be accepted by StarClan. The trek up the mountain was far too long for her comfort, too much time to dwell within her own thoughts. Leafpool had made attempts at conversation, but it was clear she was nervous about it, too.

"We're here," Leafpool announced as they came to the summit.

The two of them pushed through the thin veil of branches that surrounded the mouth of the small stream that fed into the lake. Hollypaw's sense of dread melted away as she gazed upon the beautiful Moonpool. It was the calmest water she'd ever seen, it hardly bubbled despite water pouring in from a crack in the stone on the other side of it. It reflected the almost full moon perfectly, Hollypaw wouldn't be surprised that if she just reached inside the pool, she could touch the moon itself. From the top of the mountain, she could see all the way to the horizon, giving her a clear view of the stars. Silverpelt, the band of condensed stars that stretched across the sky, was shining distinctly even against the far brighter moon. Legends said that every new member of StarClan created another small star in the collection of Silverpelt, and if that was true, Hollypaw had a lot of cats to impress. But suddenly it didn't seem so bad now. The atmosphere of the Moonpool felt inviting, safe, and pure. Like all was forgiven and loved. She felt accepted already.

Leafpool purred with delight. "I also fell in love with this place when I first found it."

Hollypaw gave her mentor a smile. That's right, Leafpool had been the first to discover the Moonpool. In fact, she was named after it.

"I'm so happy to see you're feeling better," Leafpool purred. Then her face turned serious. She sat next to the pool and gazed into it. "StarClan, I bring you my apprentice, Hollypaw, and I pray you'll accept her like you accepted me."

Hollypaw felt a chill run down her spine. Sure, Leafpool had been confident Hollypaw would be fine, but the prayer still held a morsel of doubt.

"Shall we greet StarClan, then?"

With that, Leafpool taught Hollypaw how to start dreaming. She touched her nose to the water, careful not to dip it in too deep and fill her nostrils, and laid down, waiting for sleep to come to her. Although Hollypaw felt like her heart was beating so wildly it could burst, it suddenly calmed, and she found herself instantly lulled to sleep.

Then it felt like she was awake again, like no time had passed at all. She stood up and glanced about. She was still at the Moonpool, but Leafpool was nowhere in sight. As she looked for her, Hollypaw noticed that Silverpelt was even brighter than the moon. Could that be a sign she was communing with StarClan? It would make sense for Silverpelt to be closer to this reality.

"Leafpool?" Hollypaw called out?

"I'm here—"

"AH!" Hollypaw jumped with surprise, as suddenly Leafpool's voice sounded from behind her. "When did you get here?"

Leafpool muttered a quick apology for scaring her. "I was worried about you, so I tried to find you within my dreams."

Hollypaw felt a smile crawl upon her face. "You mean, I really am dreaming of StarClan?"

"Like we could stop you." A raspy voice sounded from across the pool, and there stood an elderly, fluffy, gray she-cat with a squashed face and what Hollyleaf hoped was just a resting cantankerous look on her face.

"Yellowfang, it's an honor to see you again." Leafpool dipped her head with respect, and Hollypaw quickly did the same. "But what do you mean?"

"I'll let you figure it out, hon." Yellowfang smirked mischievously, to which Leafpool sighed.

"Alright. I'm sure you're aware Graystripe has returned to the clans..." Leafpool began.

"It's been seasons since he was taken from us, ThunderClan needed a deputy, don't let Firestar feel guilty for not waiting on him."

Leafpool nodded, and Hollypaw marveled at the elder's wisdom. That was a good point.

"Who should be deputy now, though?" Leafpool asked. "Who has the proper claim to the title?"

"Both of them do." Leafpool and Hollypaw looked at each other with surprise at Yellowfang's words. "Sure, Brambleclaw hasn't had an apprentice until Berrypaw, who was assigned to him after he was appointed, but Graystripe hardly taught his own apprentice either."

Hollypaw's eyes widened. Was that true? She knew it was so for her father, but Graystripe had always been a respected figure in the tales she was told of him. Was he truly so negligent?

Yellowfang continued, "However, both have proved their experience with leadership. Brambleclaw lead out of the six cats who traveled beyond the forest and back, while Graystripe lead ThunderClan well while Firestar traveled with Sandstorm."

"Does StarClan not care then?" Leafpool asked. "But you gave me an omen to appoint Brambleclaw, despite him never having an apprentice."

Yellowfang meowed, "So we did. But Graystripe hadn't returned at that point, had he?"

"I suppose not..."

"StarClan leaves the choice to ThunderClan. You're to choose who you believe best fits the position now."

"Thank you for your counsel." Leafpool dipped her head, and Hollypaw hastily followed her lead.

Was that really over so soon? Hollypaw felt a bit lost. She was under the impression that StarClan oversaw everything medicine cats do, so she was stunned to hear ThunderClan had a _choice_ in this matter.

"Now, our next order of business," Yellowfang grunted. Leafpool tilted her head with confusion. Yellowfang got up and walked around the pool to where the two living cats sat and then past them, to the now lush bushes behind them. "It's rude to evesdrop, child. Besides, we'll be talking about you now. Might as well join us."

Who was Yellowfang talking to? Hollypaw craned her neck to see, and she was surprised when Jaypaw stepped out of the growth.

"Jaypaw?" Leafpool stood up, her fur puffing up with shock. "Did you follow us to the Moonpool? All by yourself?"

Jaypaw bristled too, his usual temper flaring. "I'm not helpless, Leafpool. I can competently follow a scent trail."

"Simmer down, sit and listen, this is important," Yellowfang ordered.

"Do I really need to be here? Spottedleaf already begged me to become a medicine cat. I don't need to hear it again," Jaypaw said.

Yellowfang smirked. "I actually disagree with Spottedleaf. So sit down and listen."

Jaypaw sat down next to Hollypaw, but her mind was occupied. Of course StarClan wanted Jaypaw. He knew herbs better than she did without study and already had such a strong link to StarClan. Her heart ached. She knew she wasn't accepted by StarClan after all. But Yellowfang's raspy voice drew Hollypaw's attention again.

"Cinderpelt was my apprentice. She became a medicine cat because it was a way she could feel useful to ThunderClan despite her broken leg taking too long to heal. I pushed her to help me because otherwise her spirit would have never recovered. She needed a job that she could do within her limitations to heal her soul." Yellowfang's eyes landed on Jaypaw. "Jaypaw doesn't need something well within his limitations to heal. In fact, he doesn't need healing. He's not a cranky kit who won't take his medicine. He's a seven moon old cat whose mother won't let him become an apprentice out of fear for his safety."

Hollypaw had never thought of her brother like that before. She turned to Jaypaw. His jaw hung open a bit, conflict in his eyes. It looked like Jaypaw was shocked by Yellowfang's insight, too. When she looked to Leafpool, Hollypaw saw a bizarre mix of emotions on her face, and Hollypaw couldn't even begin to translate that into actual coherent feelings.

"Now Hollypaw," Yellowfang mewed, and Hollypaw snapped her attention back to the elder. "She's like a RiverClan kit trying to learn to swim in too fast a river. It's possible for her to learn, but the current is against her. Still, once she learns, she'll be just as strong as any other swimmer."

Hope fluttered in Hollypaw's chest. "Are you saying I can become a medicine cat?"

Yellowfang nodded. "It'll be hard, it'll take a long time and a lot of effort. You'll also have difficulty understanding omens and prophecies. Cinderpelt had that issue, too, though, and she made a great medicine cat. She was never meant to become a medicine cat, and neither are you, but that didn't stop her and it doesn't have to stop you."

Despite the hope Yellowfang had just given her, Hollypaw thought about the battle training she'd had with Cinderpaw the morning after the gathering. Even medicine cats should learn to defend themselves after all. She'd done very well, and Cloudtail had praised her. That had felt good. It had felt better than failing to remember her herb training for the fifth time in a row. She dipped her head and stared at the ground. What truly were her reasons for wanting to be a medicine cat? Was it worth causing Leafpool such trouble with her struggles? Did she need to become a medicine cat as much as Cinderpelt had to? Was it worth becoming a subpar medicine cat for ThunderClan?

"I don't think I should continue training as a medicine cat," Hollypaw said in a quiet voice. Jaypaw curled his tail around her haunches comfortingly, and so did Leafpool. She appreciated it.

"I won't persuade you one way or the other," Yellowfang rasped, "but you need to think about it."

"I have." Hollypaw looked up and met Yellowfang's eyes. "I'm not enjoying being a medicine cat, not as much as I thought I would. I thought I would feel some great sense of purpose for being one, but all I've felt like is a failure. And I know I'm not a failure! I did well with battle training. I have natural talent, but I'm not applying myself as best I can for Thunderclan. My clanmates need a medicine cat that doesn't need to struggle with their duties every day."

Yellowfang nodded approvingly. "Know we would have gladly accepted you, Hollypaw, like Cinderpelt was accepted moons before. You seem to have found your way, take it with pride."

Hollypaw nodded and held her head up. Although, she couldn't help but notice Leafpool looking conflicted. Hollypaw had to admit, she was already missing Leafpool as her mentor, too.

"I hope you're not expecting a change of heart from me, too," Jaypaw snarked.

"Not at all." Yellowfang smirked. "But I have another story for you. I trained as a warrior before I became a medicine cat. I, too, was gifted with a connection to StarClan and a talent for healing, but I ignored it at first. Eventually I decided to become a medicine cat, despite the many desires of my heart. It lead to the worst events of my life, but if I hadn't become one, I never would have joined ThunderClan and lived my best years later in my life. It's why I'm so old and crotchety."

Hollypaw couldn't help laughing at the self-depreciating joke. Leafpool and Jaypaw looked amused, too.

But Jaypaw quickly got back on topic. "I don't enjoy medicine cat work. If Hollypaw doesn't and that's good enough, I don't have to do it either, right? Just because you denied your heart, doesn't mean I have to."

"It's not like we can stop you," Yellowfang mewed with a shrug. "Just know that StarClan doesn't ask you to consider the role of a medicine cat because you're not capable of the other path, because you are. The clans have known deaf, crippled, and blind cats that have all served their clans well without taking up healing." Jaypaw seemed like he was avoiding looking Yellowfang in the eyes, which was odd to Hollypaw.

"That does make me feel better about the pressure..." It seemed his temper had settled, Hollypaw thought his sharp tongue had been tamed for once. "But you still need to back off, you dead meddlers." Nevermind.

Yellowfang barked a laugh. "I'll spread the word. But you need to start respecting Brightheart and what ThunderClan can do for you in return, punk."

Jaypaw's face twisted with disgust. "I'll treat cats with respect when they start respecting me first."

"You stupid furball, more cats than you think respect you," Yellowfang snapped, startling the living cats. "Brightheart _does_ respect you, she doesn't know entirely what you go through, but she's determined to help you become the best blind warrior the clans have ever seen. You need to let others care for you, support you, it's not a weakness. Lesser cats would make you think it is, but your bonds and their help will make you strong."

Jaypaw's tail lashed through the whole lecture, but he didn't respond. Was that what Jaypaw thought of the cats around him? Hollypaw wondered if she had ever made him feel like she didn't respect him while trying to help him.

Yellowfang finished her rant with, "You earn respect by treating others with respect, not the other way around." She took a whistley breath of a sigh. "Well, that's all I needed to talk to you three about. Choose your paths and deputy wisely."

With that, Hollypaw found herself curled up on the cold stone next to the Moonpool, back in reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far I've been posting one chapter a week, usually on Tuesday or Wednesday. Apologies for being a day late on this one. But also, please don't expect there won't be schedule slips in the future. I only have four more chapters prewritten, and if we ever run out I can't promise the schedule will ever exist again. That's simply the nature of how I can write for this project.


	8. Jaypaw's Not Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Tigerstar's teaching, Jaypaw is confident he can become a normal warrior of ThunderClan, even if it means putting himself in constant danger.

Jaypaw awoke next to Hollypaw and Leafpool at the Moonpool, after their talk with Yellowfang. They made their way down the mountain, back into ThunderClan territory, and had some light conversation, but nothing heavy until Leafpool spoke up.

"Jaypaw, I know you've overheard some cats talk about how you aren't capable of being a warrior—"

Jaypaw didn't let her finish, "I'm over it."

"I know you are, and you can still feel however you want about them, but I want to say this," Leafpool replied, then waited a beat for Jaypaw to interrupt her again, but he decided not to. He didn't care enough. "I assure you they fear more for your safety than anything. No one wants to see someone get overwhelmed and struggle in a fight between clans. We have the Warrior Code, but even so, tensions run high in battle."

True, accidental deaths have happened before and will happen again, but Jaypaw was certain that with his extra training from Tigerstar, he wouldn't have to worry about that until he became frail with old age. He still wasn't sure how much Leafpool knew about his dreamwalking, but he gave it even odds.

"I'm not special," Jaypaw repeated what he had heard from Tigerstar again and again during training. He was big on reminding Jaypaw he didn't deserve anything extra because of his blindness. "I'll hunt for my clanmates and I'll risk my life to protect them, like anyone else."

Hollypaw gave a "Mm-hmm!" of approval, which Jaypaw imagined came with a nod, though he couldn't see it. He could feel the pride in her heart of him. That made him smile until he sensed the cold dread and fear in Leafpool's heart. Jaypaw couldn't believe she still doubted him. She of all cats should know that he was perfectly capable, she and Squirrelflight hadn't even noticed Jaypaw was blind for a while.

Whatever. Tigerstar saw his potential, and that was all he needed. He could prove himself to them after that.

Thankfully, Leafpool did him one favor and excused Jaypaw for sneaking out from under Spiderleg's nose while he guarded the camp during the night.

"StarClan's will was for Jaypaw to be there, although they didn't give me the foresight to bring him, so they sent him. He's not in any trouble," she said. Spiderleg rolled his eyes and let them get away with it.

Hollypaw went to the medicine cat den, she would move dens when Firestar announced her change in apprenticeship tomorrow. Leafpool went directly to Firestar's den when she entered camp, as she still had to talk to him about the new deputy. Jaypaw crept back into his nest, skillfully avoiding the other apprentices, and easily dozed off.

He awoke instantly in the Dark Forest. He didn't need to take a single step before Hawkfrost's growl came from behind him.

A familiar sound, the shuffle of paws. Jaypaw ducked and rolled out of the way of the former RiverClan warrior's swipe. He looked displeased that Jaypaw had sensed that coming. As if they hadn't been training him to fight without vision.

"You're late," Hawkfrost hissed. Jaypaw bristled in response.

"Where's Tigerstar?" he asked. "I'll explain myself once so I don't repeat myself."

Hawkfrost snorted. "Oh, _forgive me_ for wasting your time, _great warrior_." Jaypaw didn't appreciate the sarcasm. "Tigerstar's busy tonight. You'll explain yourself to me."

Jaypaw wanted to ask what Tigerstar was busy with, but he knew he'd be wasting his time. Secrets were well kept in this forest. "I snuck after Leafpool to tamper with her dreams, to influence her to choose Brambleclaw as deputy."

Hawkfrost snarled something incomprehensible out of pure rage, and Jaypaw took a wary step backwards. He wasn't surprised that Hawkfrost would hate his father, despite being brothers, but this level of hostility made Jaypaw think he was missing something more than Brambleclaw being a much more honorable warrior than Hawkfrost. Also, something Jaypaw noted specifically was that he could suddenly feel the anger in Hawkfrost's dead heart. It made him think their usual emotionless state was purposeful.

"Brambleclaw is a _traitor_ and a _coward_. He shouldn't be deputy."

"Perhaps, but it's still the smarter choice for him."

The two cats turned to see Tigerstar approaching, his face neutral.

"How?" Hawkfrost growled with barely contained anger.

"Jaypaw is Brambeclaw's son," Tigerstar said. "If Brambleclaw becomes leader, he's likely to choose one of his kits to be his deputy. If it's not Jaypaw, it'll be his siblings, thus power through influence."

Hawkfrost snorted with more contempt, but Jaypaw nodded to his grandfather, confirming his reasoning. Jaypaw knew he would like that excuse.

"Hawkfrost told me you'd be absent," Jaypaw said simply, a question implied, but not quite asked. It would be rude to pry, after all.

"Yes. I had to ask someone a question." Tigerstar smiled. That was unnerving. Tigerstar rarely smiled. "Your brother will be joining us for our training sessions from now on."

Lionpaw? No, Lionpaw couldn't possibly be that stupid. Jaypaw stuffed his feelings of panic and worry into a corner of his consciousness and shrugged, trying to appear like it wasn't a big deal.

"You don't mind?" Tigerstar tested.

Jaypaw had one chance to sell this. "Why would I? I'm not special. You're helping me because you can influence the world of the living through me, as I'll owe you for your help. If Lionpaw's willing to do the same, I don't see an issue." He had to hope revealing his knowledge of his payment wasn't going to hurt him. Then again, Jaypaw had never pretended to be a fool.

Tigerstar chuckled deeply. "Well said. There's some hours to go before daylight breaks. Let's go over some techniques for keeping track of two enemies at once."

Hawkfrost and Tigerstar took position around Jaypaw, circling him slowly, and Jaypaw shut his eyes in return. Jaypaw quickly pushed Lionpaw's stupidity aside, he'd take care of it later. He found he could still track Hawkfrost's anger slowly moving around him, and Jaypaw smiled. Maybe he should make Hawkfrost mad every night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of chapters from Jaypaw's and Hollypaw's perspectives for a while, because I realized I was writing only their POVs and that doesn't make for a very good fic about all four of the crow kids. Prepare for some dumb boy times, Lionpaw is next. I say that as lovingly as possible, Lionpaw's as dumb as a rock and I love him for it.


	9. A Test of Bravery and Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lionpaw meets a couple of his deceased ancestors in his dreams, and they happen to be the clans' most recent villains. Can he believe that they're sincerely sorry for what they've done?

Lionpaw was talking to Heatherpaw, the WindClan apprentice he had met at the gathering. She was so kind, and smart, and funny. Her eyes were trained on him the entire time they spoke, although Lionpaw didn't catch what they were speaking about.

"Lionpaw," Brambleclaw said, drawing his son's attention. Lionpaw took his eyes off Heatherpaw for a second, and when he did, she was gone, but he didn't exactly notice.

"Yeah Brambleclaw?" he asked, looking around for his father.

"Meet my brother, Hawkfrost." Lionpaw still couldn't see Brambleclaw, but his voice was crystal clear. Instead he spotted a dark tabby tom with a white underbelly.

"Hello, Lionpaw, it's good to meet you," Hawkfrost said, nodding to him.

The two tom's surroundings turned from a vague appearance of the island the gathering was held to a foggy meadow, although Lionpaw only subconsciously recognized the change.

"Uh, hi?" Lionpaw meowed, his mind becoming more clear. "Where'd Brambleclaw go?" He looked around, noticing his strange, unfamiliar surroundings. "Where are we?"

"Your dream," Hawkfrost answered simply, a cool smile on his face. "I'm sad to say I died before you were born, but it seems my brother still wanted us to meet, so here I am to visit you."

Dream? What? Hawkfrost... The name was somewhat familiar. Lionpaw remembered Squirrelflight talking about him unkindly, because he tried to help Mudclaw become leader of WindClan despite StarClan choosing Onestar as the new leader.

"Would you walk with me?" Hawkfrost asked, standing and motioning with his tail to follow.

"Sure," Lionpaw replied, standing too. He didn't see why not. Brambleclaw had said Mudclaw thought he was following the code, perhaps Hawkfrost thought he was doing what was right, too.

The two toms chatted about various things. That surprised Lionpaw, what sort of StarClan cat visited the dreams of his kin just to make small talk? The conversation settled on how Lionpaw's training was going.

"Ashfur is kind of tough on me, he doesn't give praise often, but I'm able to keep up with his expectations, so I guess he's just pushing me to improve, and I don't mind that. I want to be the best warrior," Lionpaw meowed.

Hawkfrost nodded approvingly. "He sounds like a good mentor, then."

Lionpaw thought about it, and yeah, he supposed Ashfur was, then.

"But he's not teaching you everything, is he?"

Lionpaw frowned. "Is he?" He had no idea what Hawkfrost was talking about.

"I hated clan training, growing up. We spent too much time doing chores that any cat could do, even a kit. I didn't see why I had to do them. It doesn't give you enough time to truly master all of the battle techniques a warrior needs to be the best," Hawkfrost explained. "Cats learn best when they're young, it's a waste of prime time. That's why Ashfur isn't training you in everything. He simply isn't allowed enough time."

"Huh..." Lionpaw figured that made sense. "It's not his fault then?"

"In a way. Anyways, here's where I have an offer for you."

By now the two of them had walked a fair distance, near a dark and creepy old forest, where the trees stretched high into the sky and were at some point indistinguishable from the pitch black sky above. The only light was glowing fungus.

Lionpaw was hesitant to go further, but when Hawkfrost walked on without issue, he figured it was alright. A test of bravery, maybe?

Hawkfrost continued, "But first, I need to introduce you to another cat, he's your kin as well."

They came to a clearing with a large, grimey rock near the exposed, mangled roots of a large tree. From within the roots walked a large, dark tabby tom, a long cut in his ear and a large scar across his muzzle. His claws were enormous, they poked out of his paws despite being sheathed.

"This is Tigerstar. You may have heard of him," Hawkfrost joked.

Lionpaw took a step back in surprise. _The_ Tigerstar? The one who almost doomed the forest when Firestar became leader? Tigerstar smiled, and it wasn't a kind smile, but not malicious either.

"Are you scared, Lionpaw?" he meowed.

Lionpaw didn't know the answer to that. "No," he lied.

"You shouldn't be, ThunderClan gravely misunderstood me. I'm no traitor, all I wanted was the best for my clan."

"Oh," Lionpaw muttered, glanced back towards Hawkfrost to look for his opinion on that, but found his escort had disappeared.

"ShadowClan proved to need me, so in light of ThunderClan's ungratefulness, I went where I could best use my talents. Even StarClan approved, since I was given nine lives."

Lionpaw had to admit that was true, since he'd heard Longtail tell the story of Tigerstar's nine lives bleeding out in one strike.

"If you really don't trust me, you can ask Jaypaw what he thinks," Tigerstar offered.

"Jaypaw?" Lionpaw had to wonder what his brother had to do with this.

Tigerstar nodded. "I'm currently tutoring Jaypaw, since ThunderClan seems loath to try to teach him to battle."

Lionpaw's eyes widened. He hadn't expected Tigerstar of all cats to support Jaypaw above some members of ThunderClan. If Jaypaw found his teaching useful and worthwhile, perhaps Lionpaw could forgive Tigerstar's mistakes and learn all he needed to as well.

"Alright, I'll trust you," Lionpaw meowed.

Tigerstar's face remained the same, as if he didn't even realize he had just been forgiven of all the horrible things Lionpaw had heard stories of. "My training will be tough, but it will make you strong. Do you accept this?"

Lionpaw thought it over for a moment, but couldn't come up with a reason why not. Ashfur was a tough mentor, too. He could take worse. "I do."

"Excellent. You'll train with us every night in your dreams, alongside your brother. But tonight, Jaypaw appears to be absent. You'll rest for today, but be ready next time you close your eyes." Tigerstar turned and reentered the roots, and disappeared. 

Lionpaw's vision swam and he found himself back in his own den, blinking his sleep-heavy eyes open. He glanced around and noticed Jaypaw in the nest next to his own. Lionpaw wanted to wake him and ask him about Tigerstar, but he was tired.

Lionpaw just went back to sleep. He could talk later. He was still trying to catch up on rest after staying up late at the gathering.

The next day, Jaypaw was on the dawn patrol, so Lionpaw didn't get a chance to talk to him yet.


	10. Dog Sightings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An early morning patrol is the worst, especially when reports of barking on the horizon is recent news.

Five cats padded through the dead, wiry grass, their silhouettes stark against the early morning light. The freezing wind ripped across the moor, and stepping in frost everywhere he went was something Breezepaw was quickly growing tired of.

"There's nothing worse than being on the moor in Leafbare," he grumbled to Harepaw. He kept his voice low so Tornear, the more strict of the three warriors on the patrol, wouldn't hear him.

"Tell me about it," Harepaw whined.

The five of them were on a mission to the horseplace. Weaselfur had heard dogs on the border they didn't share with any clans, but they hadn't been able to see any. Onestar had ordered Ashfoot to take a patrol to the horseplace to ask the loners if they knew anything.

Finally they reached the fence. The fenced in field was empty. Breezepaw wasn't surprised that the huge horses were hiding in their barn. They had also come early enough to make sure the twolegs' dog wasn't out. It made it easy to safely cut straight to the shelter the horses and barn cats shared. The large door in the front was closed, but as they circled the den, they soon found a gap in the bark-like sides.

Ashfoot peered inside. "Smoky? It's Ashfoot, deputy of WindClan, we need to talk to you."

Breezepaw and Harepaw looked at each other as silence reigned after Ashfoot's words. Was this whole trip going to be a waste of time?

"The lazy kittypet's probably still sleeping," Tornear said scornfully.

"I thought they were loners?" Whitetail meowed.

"I've seen them eat the twoleg pellets," Tornear confirmed. "If you eat twoleg garbage you're a kittypet. That's what I say."

Breezepaw scowled. Even the talk of nasty twoleg food was reminding him of how hungry he was. He and Harepaw hadn't gotten to go hunting yet today, so they couldn't eat anything without permission. Breezepaw couldn't help sending Whitetail a spiteful look, as she hadn't remembered to tell him he could eat a meal before the mission.

Ashfoot ignored her chattering warriors and poked her nose into the hole. "Smoky? Floss? Are either of you there?" she called into the barn again.

The WindClan cats held their breath, waiting for a response. Breezepaw ran out of patience.

"Just walk in and demand they get up! I'm cold and hungry!"

Whitetail frowned at him. "Breezepaw, show more respect to your deputy," she scolded.

"Fine." Breezepaw looked at Ashfoot again. "Then as your grandson, just walk in and get them up!" Ashfoot sighed.

Tornear locked eyes with Breezpaw. "You were already told once, brat, respect your elders."

"I'm not that old yet," Ashfoot grumbled.

Breezepaw crouched down and wrapped his tail around him to help at least a bit with the cold, angry he was still being ignored.

"Feed your apprentice next time," Ashfoot teased Whitetail, who chuckled nervously. About time someone realize how the apprentices were wronged.

"What's all this commotion?" A faint voice sounded from inside the barn, causing all the cats' ears to perk up.

Ashfoot returned to the gap in the wall, again with their request enter and ask some questions. In a moment, a gray and white tom met them and finally invited them inside.

The barn was warm, the floor was covered with scattered bits of dried, scratchy yellow grass, and the horses were in each box shaped nest. More yellow grass, what Whitetail pointed out as hay, was bundled together in the corners of the barn, including in front of the gap the WindClan cats had entered from, thus blocking the cold for the most part. Weird twoleg stuff was scattered around and mounted on walls, too, and Breezepaw didn't know what any of it was called.

Harepaw ventured close to a horse, which was trapped in a nest so only its head could poke out. Breezepaw followed curiously. The huge brown beast wasn't sticking its head out at the moment, which might have been why Harepaw chose to approach this one, so the apprentices looked on as it chewed at some hay with its large, square teeth. Breezepaw was glad to know the horses didn't eat cats, since its mouth was big enough to envelope his whole head if it wanted to. Still, he'd heard horror stories about its massive, stone-like paws, how they could crack ribs and crush skulls with a single kick. He tried to look under the door to the den, but all he saw was the hay in the bottom of the nest, he couldn't see the paws.

"Oh, the dogs. Yeah, a neighboring nofur place has sheep, and they use dogs to make them run where they want and protect them," Smoky, the tom, was telling Ashfoot. "As the grass grows back, they'll be taking them out onto the fields, which will be close to your territory, but they usually don't go near the lake."

"What's a nofur?" Harepaw asked. He had wandered back over to their mentors and Ashfoot while Breezepaw had looked for the horse paws.

"Loner word for a twoleg," Whitetail answered while Ashfoot continued the conversation.

"Do they hold the dogs by the collars or let them run free?"

"They run free," Smoky confirmed. "If you'd like, maybe we could host WindClan here while they run, so you can be safe. Or maybe just the kits and elders?"

Tornear's lips mouthed a silent snarl, but Ashfoot said pleasantly, "Thank you for the offer, but WindClan has shelter enough."

"Alright, if you need anything, feel free to let us know, I'd like to think we're friends to WindClan." Breezepaw noticed Smoky send a small look towards Tornear with that. It seemed the spite in the warrior wasn't so subtle after all.

"Thank you, WindClan does appreciate you." Ashfoot shot Tornear a look as well, neutral on the surface, but while Tornear stood proudly, he wouldn't meet her eyes. "That'll be all your time we need."

"Oh, before you go," Smoky mewed, "How is Daisy? I know she didn't join WindClan, but have you seen her?"

Who was Daisy? Breezepaw had to wonder.

"She joined ThunderClan," Whitetail corrected, "and I think I saw her a few days ago at the gathering. She looked well. Her kits are about fully grown now."

Breezepaw should have guessed it'd be ThunderClan to take in a kittypet. He had to wonder which of their apprentices were kittypet spawn, though. None of them acted like kittypets. He knew it wasn't the blind tabby that had trespassed, since Crowfeather had told him that was Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight's kit.

Smoky looked pleased. "Next chance you get, could you tell them to visit me? I'd love to see our kits."

Whitetail nodded. "I'll make sure they know, perhaps next moon?"

With that, finally the WindClan cats excused themselves and Breezepaw braved the early morning freezing weather. He couldn't wait to get back to camp.

"Wanna dig up worms to put in Krestrelpaw's nest when we get back?" he offered to Harepaw, causing the apprentice to stifle a laugh.

"I'm in, but if we get caught I'm ditching you." Harepaw was always up to pranking his soft hearted and gullible brother.

"If you even try I'll break your legs," Breezepaw joked brutally, but Harepaw laughed anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breezepaw gets a POV today! I'm very excited to dive into his perspective with this fic. Hopefully giving some insight on who he becomes and why.


	11. Lionpaw's Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lionpaw is surprised when Hollypaw changes to a warrior apprentice, but it just means the three of them get to all train together! Their hunting patrol is interrupted by a ShadowClan attack, and Lionpaw still needs to talk to Jaypaw about Tigerstar.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Highledge for a clan meeting," Firestar announced to ThunderClan. Lionpaw heard everyone titter with gossip, they all knew Leafpool and Hollypaw had gone to the Moonpool to seek StarClan's opinion on who should be deputy, and they were eager to hear it. Lionpaw was sure he wanted his father to stay, he didn't know Graystripe at all. He wondered what would change if Graystripe reclaimed the title.

Firestar told the clan that Brambleclaw was to continue being deputy, but few cats seemed to like that idea. Lionpaw bristled a bit. What was wrong with his father being deputy? He's done a great job up until now, and he would do a good job still!

Then, to Lionpaw's surprise, Firestar announced that Hollypaw would become a warrior apprentice. But Hollypaw had been so excited to be a medicine cat, last time Lionpaw had spoken to her. Did something happen at the Moonpool to change her mind? Maybe StarClan rejected her. When he looked at her, standing next to the Highledge to greet her new mentor, Brackenfur, she seemed nervous, yes, but confident.

The meeting ended, and before everyone could disperse, Brambleclaw assigned some patrols, a hunting party consisting of himself, Ashfur, Brightheart, and their apprentices, Berrypaw, Lionpaw, and Jaypaw. Brackenfur also joined them with Hollypaw.

The siblings all walked side by side, and Lionpaw didn't really feel comfortable talking about Tigerstar while Hollypaw was around. She might feel left out. He decided to talk to Tigerstar tonight about inviting her. In the meanwhile, "I'm kind of glad we're all training to become warriors together," Lionpaw told his siblings. "But nothing bad happened with you and Leafpool last night, right?" he asked Hollypaw.

She shook her head. "No, it just helped me realize that I didn't really like being a medicine cat. I liked the idea of it, but not the duties."

"Huh," Lionpaw said simply.

" _Shh._ " Brightheart shushed them from up ahead, her ears, torn as they were, angling this way and that. The trio remembered this was a hunting mission and quickly fell silent.

Lionpaw caught a couple things, while Brightheart and Jaypaw worked together to corner a mouse. Lionpaw was pretty sure that was Jaypaw's first catch, but he didn't look too happy for some reason. Hollypaw was being taught the basics of a hunting crouch by Brackenfur in a whisper. Berrypaw, Brambleclaw, and Ashfur mostly hunted on their own a short distance away, although Brambleclaw popped over frequently to check on his kits. Lionpaw wasn't sure if he was embarrassed or glad that he seemed very proud of their progress. They were interrupted by Birchfall, he had gone on the border patrol to ShadowClan, who needed Brambleclaw.

When Birchfall said ShadowClan had _moved_ the border, Lionpaw wasn't surprised, ShadowClan had gotten aggressive lately, marking every tree along the edge of their territory. His claws tore at the frozen ground under his paws. If it was a fight ShadowClan wanted, he was willing to give them one.

Birchfall was sent to camp to call reinforcements, then the eight cats strong hunting patrol made their way to the new ShadowClan border in a run. Lionpaw glanced back to see Jaypaw keeping up easily and wondered if that was the work of Tigerstar's training.

As Brambleclaw expected, a large ShadowClan patrol was waiting to jump them at their new border, now deep into the trees rather the edge of the open field ThunderClan had given to ShadowClan some time before. Lionpaw's blood boiled at the taunts the dishonorable warriors spat at them, calling them all a clan of kittypets. It wasn't long before a fierce battle started.

"Hollypaw, run to guide the reinforcements to us!" Brackenfur yowled over the hissing and shouts.

A streak of black fur whipped out of the crowd around Lionpaw, and he spotted two ShadowClan cats chase after her. Without thinking, Lionpaw bolted after them, Jaypaw a whisker's length behind him.

Together the brothers leaped onto the backs of the unsuspecting ShadowClan cats, tackling them off balance and allowing Hollypaw to disappear into the undergrowth.

Lionpaw's target, a brown furred warrior of small stature, bucked him off, whipped around, and pinned Lionpaw.

Out of the corner of Lionpaw's vision, he spotted Jaypaw's target, a young, light brown tabby, screeching as Jaypaw bit and tore at the apprentice's ears.

The ShadowClan warrior glanced over, and Lionpaw kicked him in the belly, hard. 

As the warrior scrambled back, sucking in his breath, Lionpaw threw out a few more experimental kicks, slicing the warrior's nose, too.

Jaypaw leaped off the apprentice and tackled the warrior, and Lionpaw jumped up to help his brother pin the small warrior.

But the apprentice wasn't done, he bit into Lionpaw's tail. Lionpaw growled with frustration as he was dragged off the warrior by the ShadowClan apprentice.

Regaining his balance, Lionpaw spun around and swatted at the apprentice, bludgeoning the tabby's head. 

With a solid strike to the jaw, finally Lionpaw's tail was released, just in time for Lionpaw to turn back and see Jaypaw's face pressed into the dirt by the warrior.

Rage filled Lionpaw and he didn't quite remember what he had done after that, but next thing he knew, Jaypaw and Lionpaw were being circled by the two ShadowClan cats. Jaypaw was bleeding from the back of his head and his shoulders, but Lionpaw felt only adrenaline rushing through his body and keeping his senses on high alert. The ShadowClan cats had nicks and scratches here and there, the apprentice's ears looked horrible, but they looked rearing to go, still. The brothers were trapped and at a disadvantage, they simply didn't have the experience to take on two ShadowClan cats so early in their apprenticeships.

Then the yowl of Firestar filled the air, and ThunderClan allies rushed around them. Squirrelflight leaped onto the ShadowClan warrior, Sandstorm following close behind her to chase off the apprentice. Lionpaw and Jaypaw immediately moved to help their mother pin the warrior, and he surrendered, so despite Lionpaw wanting to hurt that warrior for daring to attack his kin, he stood back as Squirrelflight let him go.

A screech sounded from the main crowd of cats, "ShadowClan, retreat!"

Hollypaw padded up to her brothers, and Lionpaw purred at the sight of her safe and sound, and at the sight of the ShadowClan warriors fleeing back to their territory.

The head of the ShadowClan patrol yowled about dishonor and kittypets and clan blood, some cowardly justification, and then they left. It all made Lionpaw furious. Firestar was born a kittypet, but didn't they know the tales? Of how Firestar lead and won the fight against BloodClan? Lionpaw didn't notice Squirrelflight fussing over him until she lapped at his face.

"Huh?"

"I'm asking if you're OK! Sandstorm, do you think he was hit in the head too hard?"

"He's fine," Jaypaw told their mother, then he stopped to spit dirt and blood out of his mouth. "He's just not paying attention."

Hollypaw frowned at the red spittle on the ground. "Are you sure you're OK? You just spat out blood."

"I know, I'll be fine."

As his family argued over who was and wasn't injured, Lionpaw looked down at his fluffy golden fur, tinted red with blood in spots, but he didn't feel hurt? Must have all been ShadowClan blood. He looked at his tail, where the apprentice had bitten him, but found no break in his skin. Neat!

"ThunderClan!" Firestar's voice called from the center of ThunderClan warriors. "Eight uninjured cats will remain with me and set the border back to its rightful place. The wounded will return with Brambleclaw back to camp. You should take pride in our clan of cats who have _chosen_ to follow the code and live as honorable warriors, no matter their origin!"

Yowls of approval sounded from the crowd, Lionpaw's voice included. Despite not being injured, Squirrelflight insisted on Lionpaw returning to camp with his original hunting patrol.

At camp, Lionpaw didn't have to wait long for Leafpool to check him over, he was next after Jaypaw. She found him unwounded, like he had been telling everyone, and sent him on his way. Lionpaw found Jaypaw by the medicine cat den, his gray tabby fur still stained with his blood, but the cobwebs lumped on his shoulders were helping to stop that.

Now was the perfect time to talk about Tigerstar.

"Hey Jaypaw, are you being taught by Tigerstar how to fight?"

Jaypaw bristled immediately, and his unfocused eyes went wide. "SHH," he hissed. "Not so loud!"

Lionpaw ducked down and tucked his legs under him, close to his brother so they could whisper. "Sorry, but are you?"

After a sigh and a moment of swiveling his ears about, Jaypaw meowed, "Yes, but I'm using him. He doesn't know that I can control my dreams, so I'm going to use that to block him off from influencing me forever once I learn everything I want to from him."

Lionpaw thought back to the dreams Jaypaw had invaded when they were kits. It was one reason they were never sad about nap time, since Jaypaw could link all three of their dreams together to continue the fun, plus Jaypaw could see in them. "Can you control dreams better than Tigerstar?" Lionpaw asked, wondering if Jaypaw actually trusted Tigerstar in the first place.

"I'm certain." Jaypaw whispered. "Unless I'm mistaken, you can't control your dreams that well, can you?"

"No." Lionpaw had tried, but his dreams were often too foggy and distant to remember and understand without Jaypaw around to control them for him.

"So you shouldn't be training with Tigerstar. He's going to get you to do what he wants you to do, either through tricks or threats. He just wants influence on the world of the living again. He killed two deputies and almost killed his leader without remorse. He's always been after power, he hasn't changed. It's why he's in the Place of No Stars and not StarClan."

"Alright," Lionpaw mewed, he wasn't totally invested in training with them anyways. It had sounded like a good idea at the time, but the more he thought about _Tigerstar_ , one of the most famous villains to come out of the clans in recent history, teaching cats moves to gain favors from the living, it made Lionpaw uneasy. "I'll tell him no."

"I'll likely be there when you tell Tigerstar no," Jaypaw added. "So I need you to trust the me telling you this, and not the me who has to pretend to be utterly loyal to Tigerstar."

Lionpaw's eyes widened. What was Jaypaw planning to do once he said no? "If he finds out we talked about this..."

"If you don't tell him, he won't." Jaypaw turned and his blind eyes got surprisingly close to looking Lionpaw dead in the eye. They burned with an intensity that surpassed his disability. "And this is important, you can't sense it, but I can, I can tell when they're watching. The only reason we're talking about this is because they aren't. Be careful about when you talk about my plans."

Lionpaw nodded numbly, before remembering Jaypaw couldn't see that, so he agreed with a hum. He looked up, spotting Hollypaw hovering around Leafpool as she checked Brackenfur for injuries. "What about Hollypaw? Does she know about this?"

Jaypaw turned away and looked uncomfortable. "No. I don't know how to tell her, I don't know if she'll take it badly and misunderstand my intentions. But don't tell her, please. If Tigerstar or Hawkfrost watch you reveal what I'm doing, it'll mean trouble for me."

Hawkfrost was evil, too? Still, he hesitated. Lionpaw did think Hollypaw should know. They had always told each other everything, and keeping a big secret like this could hurt her feelings. Plus, they all worked best as a team. If she wasn't informed, she wouldn't be able to help them if Tigerstar turned out to have some way of hurting Jaypaw. And... "What if they go after Hollypaw next?"

Jaypaw scoffed dismissively. "Nah. I don't think they will. They've shown a distaste for medicine cats, and even though she's not one anymore, her choice to be one will still hang over their decision." He obviously pondered something for a moment. "I suppose you could warn her about Tigerstar visiting cats in dreams. It wouldn't be weird since you're planning on rejecting him."

"Alright, but you should tell her," Lionpaw mewed, keeping his voice low as Firestar returned to camp from resetting the ShadowClan border.

"I... I will," Jaypaw promised. "But remember, don't bring up this topic again unless I do first."

Lionpaw hummed, understanding. "I won't."

"Good. One last thing," Jaypaw said. "StarClan's territory can be accessed from the Place of No Stars. If anything happens, run in the direction I point with my tail tip. Tigerstar and Hawkfrost can't cross the fog border."

Dread filled Lionpaw's body. Should Jaypaw really be doing this? Tigerstar sounded so dangerous. How could this be worth it? Lionpaw vowed in his heart right then and there that if Tigerstar or Hawkfrost hurt his brother, he would make them pay. "Got it."

"Now go clean yourself up, you're still covered in blood," Jaypaw meowed, bringing his voice back up to a normal volume.

"How do you know?" Lionpaw asked, but Jaypaw just smirked silently. Lionpaw looked at his fur and noticed he was right. "Alright, alright." Lionpaw got up and padded away, and was quickly intercepted by Squirrelflight, who had returned with Firestar. She insisted on grooming him, so he let her.

Doing well in his first battle _ever_ was exciting, but the threat of Tigerstar hung over Lionpaw. He really wasn't looking forward to going to sleep that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for reading! If you have any other fun ideas for cool AUs that can add to the chaos and don't contradict the ones I've already got in here, drop a comment.


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